I've received a landslide of emails from boyfriends & husbands over the past 2 weeks. These poor fellows are in relationships with ladies who can't seem to find satisfaction without a tickle from yours truly. I've done a couple of house calls and can proudly say I've save some marriages.
But I can only pound these tier two chicks so much. For fuck sake man, I'm famous.
Fear not, I have a solution. For those still needing my services, send $1,796.99 via PayPal to ridethemustache@gmail.com. I will send you a hand-made cast of my man hammer. And, I'll signed it free of charge (rare). I've contracted services from the good folks at "Clone-A-Willy", so you rest assured, we're talking a quality dong.
For an additional $447, I'll include an audio tape of me talking shit to your lady which, of course, you can play while vigorously plunging away with my signature series faux-cock.
At your service,
J-Stache
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