Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Alright...all you Facebook, Tweet, Tumblr douches. I need work. It's sure hard to stay high in this economy.

I just finished reading "What Color Is My Parachute". You're supposed to create a job that suits your strengths and passions, then "put it out into the world" and it will arrive.

So here it is, I now know my true calling. I was born to be a celebrity merkin. Look it up on Wiki dumbass.

I would like nothing more than to conceal the china of Hollywood's most classy stars. I had a mock up done. See above as it serves as my CV.

The agents of the following stars please reach out before my calendar gets filled up: Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Olsen Twins, the less butch of the two Indigo Girls.

Can. Do. Go. Now. Make. Say. Be.

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  1. do you need an assistant? I've got a MBA and can grow a beard pretty quickly...If interested, I'd be happy to send a res and recommendations...hey thanks!

  2. the staff at ride the mustache is ladies only homes. furthermore, beards are for gayberts. partner up with a stache and watch your pimp hand grow.