For anyone out there who doubted the strength of my pimp hand, you can go ahead and kiss my grits after tomorrow. Yes, yes. Don't worry. I've been rotating my undercarriage regimen between Gold Bond and Monistat, with a every third day a "rest cycle". All that's needed now is a high shine with a soft shammy and you're in the lap of luxury.
Tomorrow on Funny or Die, I've agreed to air a videotape that I've been hiding under a stack of of German porn for a good while now. While there's no cash over the barrelhead this time, I'm told that each view will equal half a perkie for me. So...you greasy moose knuckle's, spin the video and I promise to share my booty. And by booty I mean treasure, not buttocks.
Waiting for The Stern Show invite,
J-Stache
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